I can't sleep.
Tomorrow I'm going to visit my best friend, something I do a lot and am always excited about, but for some reason I can never sleep well the night before. The persistent thought that I have things to do doesn't leave me alone, sometimes I think maybe the only solution is to sleep in my clothes, house keys safe inside my fist. I often wake up with my fists closed and jaw clenched, like my body is always ready for something terrible to strike so it can pull even tauter and tell me "I told you so, I told you so."
I miss my grandpa, but it doesn't make sense because I saw him less than 4 days ago.
I am so afraid of death.
I have to go to the pharmacy.
I have to cancel an appointment. I hate canceling appointments. I think the only thing that gives me more anxiety than an appointment is canceling one, it's very similar to letting someone down, I'm just adding to their stress.
I don't know which purse to use tomorrow. Making decisions is difficult.
I'm letting everyone down.
I have to pay tuition... Off I go to annoy my mom. All I do is annoy people.
I want to give up.